When life’s messes can be summed up in a heaping pile of canned ravioli on the floor, it’s time to chat.

As I was wiping, and wiping and wiping, up the mess leftover from my boys lunch I started processing. I was thinking ‘I would have never let Connor eat like this’. Connor being the almost 13yr old with his two youngest brothers Jeremiah (21mths) and Micah (11mths).

Thinking of my younger self by 11 years or so, things were different. I was grasping at controlling absolutely everything in our lives. My job, my marriage, growing a tiny human and my relationship with God. If I could keep this part tidy and neat, all would be right with the world. Many things transpired over the years, but what finds me here today is this ravioli.

When Bill, Connor’s father, my late husband, passed away in 2012 the figurative ravioli hit the fan. My life, our lives, were turned upside down for the world to see our mess. The small things seemed not to matter anymore. I was more concerned with how I was going to raise a son on my own rather than what the sink looked like. My perspective shifted. My life shifted. My relationship with God became the closest thing to reality I had to hold on to. Day in and day out we made it. God provided and healed.

Now being almost 3yrs into my new marriage, I watch in awe at what God has done. I look at the messes as a blessing, something so very simple to clean up that it barely phases me. My boys are happy and fed. More importantly they have a momma who is happy and being fed by the Word of God; one who has her perspective shifted to recognize what really matters.

Photo by jcreed

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